first step: Write an article and tell everyone that you are taking a break on social media. This sentence so they know you are doing something very worthwhile. There is also something harsh about meta, so they feel introverted on multiple levels.
Step 2: Leave it on social media for longer to respond to people you respond to your posts about opting out of social media.
Step 3: OK, now you’re really quitting social media. But, what is social media? LinkedIn is definitely not social media, it’s too boring. Spend a few hours scrolling LinkedIn. Decide that you don’t need a business optimization course or tutorial on how to set up job alerts. Also, why do people send messages on LinkedIn to thank you for contacting them on LinkedIn? They literally invite you to connect first. Decide not only is LinkedIn dead, your LinkedIn inbox is a coffin.
Step 4: Take a moment to feel nostalgic when spam messages from square men in a social media inbox come from spam messages in square men in military or medical uniforms.
Step 5: Check out your to-do list. sigh. tax. Send six people a text to tell them you just paid the tax. No reply. Consider restarting social media for a satisfactory response. Remember, you tell everyone that you are taking a break.
Step 6: Clean the refrigerator.
Step 7: Reply to emails that have been wandering in your inbox for months.
Step 8: walk. Take pictures of beautiful sunsets. Resist the urge to post it. Instead, send sunset photos to seven different WhatsApp groups. While considering whether WhatsApp is social media, there must be a temporary crisis. Decide that you will never know your child’s school or sports group. Stay with WhatsApp.
Step 9: Have a good night’s sleep and don’t sleep on people on social media. There is a random high school acquaintance and noble doll collection of dolls dreams. When you wake up, when you wake up, people realize that you don’t know what’s going on in anyone’s life.
step 10: Meditation instead of scrolling. Ha, just kidding. Doomed to scroll on the news website and gritting teeth in the actual state of the world, rather than the teeth of a friend’s 15-year-old son, who just took off his braces. Read news articles about tariffs. Put down your phone.
step 11: Pick it up again. Is Goodreads social media? Rate the last 12 books you’ve read on Goodreads and then drop a rabbit hole in analyzing all friends’ reading habits. Want to know how many of these lists are performing performance. Is it even possible to read the same week Ulysses and Fannigan wake up? Make sure GoodReads are also social media and delete them.
step 12: Go running. Download statistics from your smartwatch to run. Send to the WhatsApp group you are running and your mother, not posting on social media. Mom: “How are you doing? Why do you want to give me a heart rate?”
“I just wanted to share the run this morning.”
“Okay. Why did you suddenly send me a lot of texts? Did you see photos of your cousin’s wedding on Facebook?”
step 13: Reinstall social media long enough to view wedding photos. You can’t like them because then people will know you’ve broken the break. Delete again.
step 14: There are so many hours a day! Write an article about quitting social media.
Go back to social media and share the article you wrote in these 24 hours because you have a break from social media, which actually works.
