Sometimes, I’m surprised by the quietness in the house these days. Like today, on Sundays, kids and dogs at home should be filled with the hustle and bustle of the years – playing, quarrel, singing, singing, watching something loudly on TV. But now they are in adolescence and they quietly engage in their own business without always having their mom involved. There was a time when we all had to go to the bathroom together, but that was some time ago! Today, one person is immersed in his own room while the other is on the desk in our small library, revising his large exam without any of our nasties (his academics do not require study, but endlessly doing housework!). Our dog has grown up and has been hitting SN for a long time.
Of course, we still have sporadic emotional storms echoing through our homes, which are caused by the siblings’ rows, which is another exciting achievement (which may continue for a long time), or just a garden barking warning volume to invade the small animals. But this is your teenager. The stirring can still be earthquakes, but intermittently compared to when I was young. However, it was so quiet this Sunday that I could clearly hear the birds swaying, the wind gushing out from the trees, and the ground shifting unconsciously at my feet.
Unusually, I can hear my own thoughts. But, despite my taste of this peace, I know it is a pioneer of an absolute mixed blessing. I began to be afraid of things I never thought of.
In less than two years, first with the eldest son and then his sister, will drive the chicken coop, which makes me happy with the bright future I hoped for wholeheartedness (and everything else I could invest in), but also for their daily love, parenting and laughter with the kids almost ended. It’s inevitable, but only another parent, perhaps more than anyone else, can tell you that it seems impossible and painful at the same time. After all, they are the inner part of me and after two painful delivery, they stayed mentally and physically close to mom. There is no doubt that the old adage about kids feeling like they were walking around outside the ring.
Those who don’t know me may guess: “She doesn’t feel a life beyond the child, which is why she misses them so much”, but that’s not true. I have written four books by the time we raise them, which are the best in the world. I taught at university and wrote regular media columns and dramas, becoming the first South Asian woman to write an international opera, who traveled to the UK for a high praise. I just mentioned these just say that I am indeed full of blessings, including a strong marriage. But, as most parents will tell you, raising children is selfless, smart and independent and then making them really great, which is a nearly impossible scale. But we all do it because we have to.
My husband and I have discussed what the looming nest builders might have felt long ago. Even though even the term for parents, their beloved, wide world children have a gnaw-foot, hollow ring, we think we welcome the freedom of kids to go to college. After many vigilant nights, after spending nights with at least one child struggling to fall asleep, there is a chance to grab some shut up. For years, the freedom of breathing can be free to breathe freely with the help of two people nearby (on another continent, his Whist, still the county) or family help. Although the latter is often placed on the outlaws, while the latter and our careers can run, our own downtime is parked in the scheduled empty nest era.
However, now that it’s almost here, I’m actually glad that life is still as crazy as ever, despite the occasional quiet Sunday. With older people at the level/advanced stage of school, all activities, chats, visits and more will be given an exciting opportunity to enter the best college and surpass it. The young person will take her first big board exam and enter her high school college of choice around the same time. Therefore, they are both in a critical career stage in their lives, and our parents will naturally become their social secretary and career manager! It only takes a few hours to live – certainly not what is melancholy. I will have enough time to actually live.
Until then, I planned to taste the last second with my growing kids and they could still call the kids, even though my parents assured me that in my eyes, they will always be my kids. But it is not easy to chat happily at the dining table while they are studying, even chatting every night, or even breathing in the bedroom when I fall to bed. Now do it.
